Last week I wrote about the kind of habits you need to make 2022 be more productive for you. You can read it here. But that post was only one leg of the topic. Remember that saying from when we were young? One bad egg will spoil the entire crate. Exactly o! Even if you have all the great habits in the world, there are certain toxic traits that will still corrupt all your good work. So, as much as we want to build habits, it’s also good for us to tear down the negative traits that have hindered us. Trust me, this is one aspect of self-development you don’t want to ignore.
If you are wondering if at all you have negative habits, or if at all they can be addressed, here are a few pointers below to help you assess yourself.
How many times has someone annoyed you, but you keep quiet and when people ask how you feel, you say, “It’s okay? I am fine.” Or a loved one hurt you, you dismiss it and say, “It doesn’t matter, I’ll be okay.” That is classic repression. Most of us mistake repression as being calm. We disguise it as, “I am just a chill person.” The truth is that we are emotional beings, and emotions should not be stored inside. Repressing your feelings can make you depressed, affect your blood pressure, and worse, cause you to fly into an unexpected rage. Learn to find ways to express yourself, good or bad.
Do you do things you don’t want to do just to make another person happy? Cause yourself discomfort for the sake of others? Then you are a people pleaser, and when you live to please people, you’ll eventually become resentful towards them, and some people will begin to take advantage of you. They will see you as the “yes” person. There are people you should go to extra mile to help, yes, but you must learn how and when to say no.
Most people do this playfully to avoid disappointments, but the catch is that talking negatively about yourself, looking down on yourself, or focusing on the things you didn’t do right is dangerous to the psyche. Over time, you’ll internalize it, and that negativity will become part of you!
Comparing Yourself to Others
This one is hard to avoid. Every day, especially, on social media, we see people we want to be like, look like, etc. And then, we forget our uniqueness in the world. Comparison is one of the most common reasons people become sad. You ignore your own life and work and look at other people.
Lack of Gratitude
This is almost like comparison. You look at other people’s wins and the good things happening in their lives, and un-look your own life because we mistake gratitude for “Big Wins” but practicing gratitude goes deeper than that- it is also you are noticing the small things in your life that brings you joy. It could be food, buying a dress you like, your friends, ticking items off your to-do list. If you are not happy with the small things, when the big ones come, you’ll still be ungrateful
Not Caring for Yourself
While we chase dreams and goals, it’s very important to care for ourselves. Caring could be small things like eating foods you enjoy, taking care of your skin, manicure, and pedicure and sleeping well, going to the hospital for an annual check-up. Caring for your body is you loving yourself, and when you love yourself you don’t permit people to trample on you. When you love yourself, it gives you the confidence to go about in the world. Abi, if you cannot love yourself, who will love you?