Jealousy has often gotten a bad rap, from obsessive partners to frenemies. But is it as terrible as we think it is? I mean, isn’t jealousy a human reaction? And aren’t we all emotional humans with feelings? I think the greatest mistake we make when we talk about jealousy is how we try to disassociate ourselves from it. We often pretend that it doesn’t exist. Or worse, that we don’t get jealous.
Look, jealousy is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I think it is healthy to acknowledge it when the feelings arise. When we don’t do so, we leave it to the chance of going overboard and festering its cousins: envy, anger, resentment.
So, instead of shoving our feelings to the corner, and pretending that we are too perfect for to get jealous, the question we should answer is: how can we process and deal with our jealousy in a healthy way.
Find the source and acknowledge it
When you see that you harbor feelings of jealousy, be honest with yourself by asking where did it come from? You might be jealous that a friend got a promotion, got into something you both applied for, or got their own space. Find where and what you are jealous about, acknowledge it because it is normal, it is normal to want good things for yourself.
I do not recommend speaking to the person you are jealous of, but open up to a trusted friend and let out your emotions. Bottled emotions and unprocessed emotions can sometimes lead to something worse. So speak up, tell a trusted friend that this is what you are trying to process, and let them help you by offering words of support.
Let jealousy help you
Rather than jealousy leading you to depression, sadness, or anger, turn it around and use it as a force for good to achieve the things you would like to see in your life. Let jealousy be a force that propels you to be better and get your bag!
Take a step back
When jealousy strikes, take a step back to look at the bigger picture. This is because as humans, we tend to just see the glory but never the hard work. A lot of people who are doing great for themselves are also sacrificing a whole lot. When you acknowledge that, you begin to see their achievements in a whole new light because it is not just achievement anymore but rather, the product of hard work, sacrifice, and sleepless nights.
Just because you don’t think you are making waves that don’t mean you are not. You might not be where you want to be but you are certainly not where you used to be. So practice gratitude, and be thankful for what you have at the moment, have a moment of reflection, and pat yourself on the back because you are doing well.