I grew up hearing stories from older female figures on how good and bad girls behave. In their mind, there was a clear line where one was white and the other black as far as their expectation of female comportment went.
There was these dirty looks they gave girls who wore skirts that were above knee level or shirts that showed even a little cleavage. Even when I wore it, the endless lectures were hell.
Recently I was talking to a close friend about the source of this desire to police how women dress. Culture, especially here in Nigeria, imagines that a woman needs to be chaste and pure, and that this chastity is depicted through fashion. Whereas a man could wear singlet and strut about without any reprimand.
Women who show some legs or shoulders or cleavage are assumed bad. It is assumed that their intention is to seduce men. Even in cases of rape, the first thing people want to know is what she was wearing.
A memory that still gets to me was when Uni was still in session and on the first day of class, a senior colleague wore a pair of trousers and the lecturer flayed up, called her all sort of names and explicitly said that trousers were for a man and not a woman. But the statement that struck me the most was when the lecturer said “Now you would complain if a man raped you when you’re the one wearing seductive clothes.”
The whole class was shocked. But the final nail to the coffin was that the lecturer was a woman. Sigh.
Thankfully, this platform is focused on women. I’m glad to see the awareness and humility among young ladies of my generations. We are unlearning many things that society taught us, as we rightly should. We have that right to change the conversation.