First of all, someone needs to send a general memo to Nigerian aunties and uncles that being single isn’t a disease or a condition that needs to be cured. Now that Valentine’s Day is upon us again, the song and dance about being single is about to change gear. Singleness is not a problem. In fact, done right, being single can be a blessing to you—yes, even if you want to get married and start a family.
There are so many ways to live a full life as a single person and push back against the pressure to get paired before you’re ready. Here are a few tips to help you live your best life while single.
Being single is a great opportunity to learn to know, fully love, and accept yourself. Trust us, it’ll do you a world of good when you eventually let someone in. In fact, it’ll keep you from letting the wrong person in. There’s no need to twist yourself into unrecognisable forms to make yourself “marriage material”. You – quirks and all – are beautiful. You’re enough.
In your work, in your thinking, in your actions. You know the kind of person you’ve always imagined you’d be when you “settle down”, now is the time to start becoming that person. Your wedding day won’t magically change who you are (nor who your spouse is, for that matter). If you’ve always wanted to start a business or learn some skills, start doing it now. If you always wanted to be better at multi-tasking, start now. Want to be more patient/more loving/stronger? Now is the time!
Love your own company
Yes, this is different from loving yourself. Have you ever met someone who couldn’t seem to sit at home? Like, from work to club or some other outing all the time. Chill! Don’t be afraid of your own company or silence. It’s a great chance to get to know yourself and your likes and dislikes better. Read, watch a movie, go for a walk, or listen to music. Do something that feels good for yourself, by yourself. It’s ok to do things on your own. When you’re with someone, it’ll keep you from relying on them for all your entertainment.
Nurture great friendships
You know those people who pepper every conversation with, “When are you getting married?” Or remind you that you’re getting older? No, those are not the great friends we mean. Great friends are those who don’t care whether you have grey hair, a banging crib, a hot partner or any partner at all. These friends only care about your well-being – whether you’re healthy and happy. Enjoy some activities with such people. And you know those great goals you’ll be achieving? Great friends cheer you on, support you, and correct you as you grow towards them. All you need to do is be a great friend to them in return.
Nurture your spirit
We’ve talked about doing things that grow you, doing things on your own, and doing things with friends. This point is about doing things that move you. Get involved in causes that are dear to your heart in whatever capacity you can. It could be at your place of worship (where applicable), in your social circle, or your local community. It could even be a virtual campaign to raise awareness about an issue such as mental or reproductive health. Whatever you choose to do, do something that makes your spirit and the world just that little bit better.
Whether or not you actually WANT to get married eventually, acknowledge that there are many different paths to self-fulfilment and every one of them is valid. It’s important to teach yourself to enjoy your journey during the “season of love” and all year round, really.