When you marry a man, you marry his family. We have all heard this and to be very honest, it is correct. It works the other way round too. After being in a romantic relationship for a long time, you most likely and inevitably gain a second family. You get invited to the cookouts, the church programs and even the gossip sessions.
It’s fun and nice and truthfully, satisfying to be referred to as “our wife”. or “our husband”. But, where do the limits start and end? How do we know what to say and whose side to take in quarrels?
Let’s consider a few ways to deal with our long term partner’s siblings and family members.
First things first. Don’t take sides
Maybe you’re the Chief Justice of Your Father’s House. But, that should really be the extent of it. You’re a stranger that has just been made welcome. Don’t go picking sides and throwing blames in all directions when there is a misunderstanding, it may only backfire. Siblings will always defend themselves when someone from outside tries to butt in. Even if they were bickering amongst themselves just minutes ago. Your partner is your primary concern and when you have views on their family matter, you could let him know but you don’t want to go around fighting people’s battles. Respect their decisions and love them anyway.
Don’t allow the love to be one-sided
They already love you and they talk about you, call you and remember you. So, you should do the same. Don’t wait for them to always be the first to text, call or visit. The “I have been meaning to call you” line gets old pretty quickly.
Don’t forget Birthdays and special days
If they don’t forget yours, then you should not forget theirs. If you really love them, you should show them by calling on their special days. Birthdays, Mother’s Day, etcetera. It’ll make them feel extra special and it’ll improve your bond with them. If you’re extended an invitation to a special event, you should try to make it. If you can’t, it’s not a problem. Just let them know that you have to work or have a prior appointment that you can’t get out of.
Let your partner be the one to exclude them
If your partner does not want to be part of a family gathering and wants to spend time with you instead, it is their choice and they have to be the ones to break it to their family. If you are the one who informs the siblings and family, you may look like it was your idea in the first place. That’s never a good look.
You may have to share your home
It’s almost inevitable. When your partner’s sibling or a family is in town, your home may have to be a crash pad for a little while. Try to be hospitable and make them enjoy their stay. Because, the good thing is – when you and your partner are in their own town and need a place to crash, their home becomes yours as well.