Everybody has haters, especially in that general pop-culture sense of people trying to bring you down. It doesn’t matter whether they dislike you for real reasons or what they’ve imagined, I tell you, haters are real. When I was up to 106 kg and trying desperately to lose weight, I met one of them. But before I get into that story, let me share what urbandictionary.com describes by the term haters.
“A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success; so rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person”
“Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn’t really want to be the person he or she hates; rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch.”
Are these definitions apt or what?
Anyway, Back To My Story…
Remember when I was 106kg? Yes. So, I was jogging down Adeola Odeku, knocking myself for gaining so much weight but still very determined to lose it, when I stopped by a popular mall to buy some imported lemons and a few other fit-fam stuff. Right at the checkout counter, I noticed a bar of my favourite chocolate, only this time; it was a new jumbo size. I was still looking at it and laughing internally as I recalled how I would have wolfed it down without thinking in the past. Then, out of nowhere, this man; let’s call him Mr. H (H for haters of course) says to me: “I don’t think they made this chocolate for people like you…”
Oh no!! He didn’t just say that to me, a total stranger!!
I was so mad but stayed civil enough to swallow my words with a smile. I am pretty sure I cried on my way home. However, that encounter also showed me the areas where I was weak. It showed me that I cared more than I needed to and wasted my emotions on people’s opinions about my weight.
And that right there is the operative word: Wasted emotions!!
Don’t Do It, Sister.
In life, people will always have opinions and they will not hesitate to share it. We may not be able to stop people from saying what they think, but we can control our response to people’s opinions about us.
That incident at the mall with that guy made me stronger and more resolved to never waste my emotions on haters. Instead, the negative comments from haters will challenge me to improve and feel better about myself. After all, my entire weight-loss goals are centered on me and my desire to achieve results.
Which brings me to my second operative word… motive!
WHY are you doing this?
It took a second ‘hater’ to drive this truth deeper into my mind. Let’s also call her Ms. H (Humour me, please)
You see, at first, she had told me that I shouldn’t bother getting in shape because I could never revert to my pre-pregnancy weight. According to her, pregnancy expands the body permanently. But then, after I had lost all the weight, she told me that I needed to stop because I was beginning to look sick.
There were no compliments, no acknowledgement of my efforts. I mean, the least she could have done would have been to eat her words and wash it down with a chilled glass of flavored tea, but no!
But the truth is, I wasn’t even that upset. In fact, we have remained friends and we laugh about it without hard feelings. However, the incident taught me that if I pursued weight-loss just to prove a point to her, the motive would have been wrong. And if I had felt terrible when she told me I looked sick, my emotions would have been wasted.
Weight-loss and all its nuances remains a very sensitive issue, and the first thing people lose on a weight loss program is their sense of humour. But I beg you sis, fight to keep it. You will need it. The haters will not stop with their nasty comments but you must have the right reaction to it all. And there is no better response to negativity that your personal sense of humour. So learn to laugh at people and have them laugh at you.
Like my dear friend always says,
‘Na fat I fat, I no kill person…’
P.S
I share many more hater stories in my FREE e-book, MY FAB TRANSFORMATION STORY where I share my 30kg weight loss story. It literally is da bomb dot com. You should download it if you are trying to lose weight. Find it only on my App, the FAB E’Reader App on Google Play store.
And as always, I would love to hear from you. Drop a comment or email me coache@coachesquad.com