Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we could turn the clock back to the 1950s. I mean for the romance part of things; not the wars, segregation and female marginalisation of course. #Whew! Anyhow, courtship and dating seemed easier then—flowers, chivalry and lack of social media to ruin things. Also, I bet they didn’t have to ghost their partners.
See, ghosting is a weird 21st century romance dynamics that confuses me, and I am Gen Z! If you are unfamiliar with ghosting, let me explain. It is basically a situation where a relationship or courtship comes to an end because one person simply stops calling, texting, or reaching out in any way. The person ghosting basically just…disappears. Into thin air. That brings me back to my analogy and preference for the 50s. I mean, you couldn’t really ghost anyone then. There was no technology, so you probably knew each other’s houses and families and you had to see in person. The only way to ghost a partner would be to go to war and die. *sigh, the good times. Lol.
Hurtful
It can lead to insecurities and leave the person ghosted with a ton of questions and uncertainty. Don’t do it. Instead, inform the person even if it is by some small way that you would like to end the relationship. Remember that ghosting is not limited to short- and long-term relationships. People have been ghosted from friendships and even budding relationships that are still in the “talking stage.” In any of these cases, it is selfish and irresponsible to erase yourself from a person’s life without the decency to let them know.
Why
It could be because of an attachment style you have. My little psychology knowledge tells me that people who are naturally avoidant of conflict tend to ghost people more. It could also be as a result of a bad relationship with parents, family and friends. Also, you’re most likely to ghost someone if you have been ghosted before. Try not to let past experiences define future ones. Don’t ghost people.
Wearing the shoes
Getting ghosted can open up old wounds for people with self-esteem issues and maybe even abandonment issues. The best thing to do would be to try to put it behind you as much as possible and as quickly as possible. Sometimes, this may be difficult, especially with social media where you may still be able to actually still see the people that has ghosted you. I would personally want to keep stalking the person and going to check what they are up to on social media. It’s no shame. The best of us have done it. Haha.
Even in that regard, you could try to get over that and block the person out, so that you can focus on a healthier, happier version of yourself.
You should also know and realise that it is not your fault that the person ended things with no explanation. If anything, it speaks more about the person they are than about you.
You should also realize this, so that it does not leave you hurting and forms an impression on you that you need to do this to someone else in the future.