I just got married to the love of my life. And no, I did not crouch somewhere in my honeymoon suite to write this, lol. My husband and I are doing fine and this was written days before the wedding, between last-minute rush and bride-to-be jitters. After several weeks of our court marriage and anticipating our church marriage, I know the vibes of many newlyweds.
We know how the saying goes: Marriage is great and all that good stuff. But for a newlywed, it can be quite a transition. Think about it, one minute you roll across your soft silk sheets, and the next there is a human next to you who probably snores, Lol. No matter how much you love your new partner, there are still adjustments to expect. Below I list five of them.
No more solo planning
Unlike when you were single, you can’t just ‘up and go’ anymore. Every decision you make affects your spouse, no matter how inconsequential it seems. You’re accountable to someone now and it’s not necessarily a case of asking for permission to do something, it’s more like considering the effect your decision will have on your marriage and discussing this. Also being open to really hear your partner’s thoughts and alter your decision if need be.
Understanding/dealing with a new family
If you have amazing in-laws as some do, this could be a huge blessing. It could also be the opposite for others. But getting to understand your spouse’s family is helpful. Your family may be soft-spoken while loud and boisterous conversations are a sign of camaraderie and love with your in-laws. So when you attend family gatherings, you’re less taken aback by the shouting lol. You may not necessarily see or visit your spouse’s family that much but know that you have a second family now, sort of, and you would have to put calls, visits, check-in messages et al into your plans.
Talk talk talk
If you’re reserved or struggle with communicating your thoughts or feelings verbally this will be a struggle. When you’re single, you can be in all sorts of moods and feel all kinds of feelings without really having to explain anything to anyone. But you can’t really do this with your spouse, you have to be able to speak and tell them because unfortunately, they’re not mind-readers.
Losing some battles
Marriage is definitely not for the selfish. There will be times you’ll get your way and it helps if your spouse is on the same page as you, for most things. But this will not always be the case and sometimes you will have to concede and put them first or let them have their way. And to be honest, if you truly love them, although it may be tough sometimes, you shouldn’t mind too much. If your spouse does the same for you as well which ideally they should, then it becomes less tasking. If it’s totally one-sided then it becomes a very heavy burden to bear.