Was it the advice that gave me the confidence to go for my dream job? Or the introduction that led to being hired for a role? Or the words that made me stop engaging in self-deprecation? It’s hard to pick just one moment when my mentor did something life-changing for me. The thing is, a mentor was once where you are, and (often) is now where you see yourself going. Who better to learn from?
After almost a decade of working, I still often say that one of the most defining moves of my career was having a mentor from the beginning. This post is my way of explaining how mentorship has been helpful to me. But before I get into it though, let me just say what mentorship is not. Mentorship is not someone forcing their ideas or methods on you, and it’s definitely not carrying a person’s handbag around to feed their ego while they fail to share anything helpful with you.
With that said, the benefits of mentorship are immense. However, you have to choose the right mentor in order to experience the benefits.
Making Sense of the Muddle
I am surely not the only one who feels like university did everything except prepare me mentally and emotionally for real adult living. At first, I didn’t know the type of consideration to put into the job(s) search —no, it wasn’t about which job paid most. I also didn’t know how mentally draining the work can be, or just how generally confused I would feel in those early years.
The person who filled in those gaps for me at that time was my mentor. She was the one who helped me to realise that what I was experiencing was normal, and showed me how I could scale some of those hurdles. Trust me, we all need someone to share that emotional burden and it is better if it is someone who can help you to navigate it.
Avoiding Mistakes & Developing Strengths
If you can get a mentor who works in the area(s) you do, then you might make quicker progress in your career that you would without a mentor. My mentor would often point out the areas she thought I was prone to mistakes even before I realised that I was. That saved me from getting into trouble more times than once.
She was also quick with advise—even until today—about the areas of strength I could develop. They were often things I could do but never considered as valuable career skills. Having someone more experienced highlight my strengths in those areas often helped me to hone those skills. That, of course, helped me to recognise and take opportunities I ordinarily would have missed
Opportunities
While you should not feel entitled to being handed opportunities by a mentor, mentorship may open doors for you. Sometimes, it is as simple as your mentor informing you about an opportunity and telling you to go for it—it’s a confidence boost. Other times, S/he may actually create or recommend you for opportunities. Remember that you’re not entitled to this, so if it happens, be grateful. If it does not, do not be resentful.
There are indirect opportunities that may also come up. One day, I was pitching to a prospective client and randomly mentioned my mentor’s name. I promise you, I was not name-dropping. Turned out the client knew her, and that tilted the scale in my favour.
Expand Your Worldview
This last point is not limited to mentorship relationships. Generally, I would say have older, more experienced friends. It will change how you see the world and even how you see yourself. I dare say it might help you to worry less about how life will turn out.
I am sure I’ve missed out on some of the things I’ve gained from being mentored, but I hope you find those helpful. Next week, I will talk about the things you should know/do before you get a mentor.