I imagine dating in the twenty-first century to be like being on a plane and the hostess says,
“Welcome to twenty-first century dating, fasten your seat belt, someone amazing or not will be assigned to keep you company you all through the ride; we are not sure how crazy the ride will be, but we sure wish best of luck!”
It sounds silly but honestly, that appears to be how modern dating looks. I understand that dating has never been easy, whether now or in medieval times, but in our world today, it appears to have become more difficult. Even dating apps are a nightmare, as the barriers to finding the love of your life appear to be multiplying, especially with the prevalence of social media and of course, woke culture. Also, it’s hard to ignore the fact that everybody has very concrete and, sometimes, materialist ideas of what their ideal candidate should have.
“He must have at least nine figures in his account, or he can find someone else.”
“What am I doing with a person who doesn’t check my status?” Omo! I have different dealbreakers.
However, the one most amusing of them all was the one where a woman said I can’t date a man if he types something like “Hy dear hw far”. Lol! To be fair, even for me, this last one is a deal breaker. “Why are you typing as if you’re fighting with the alphabets and you don’t want to use some of them?”
Let me add that I have dated people who I eventually detached from for trivial reasons such as “He forgot my birthday” (which is a fairly good reason if you think about it because how can you claim to like me if you don’t remember important things about me”). Don’t judge me please, this is a safe space.
This is not to say that you should not set goals or have a clear idea of what you want in order to avoid settling for less. But I think it’s important to recognize that there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Simply put, you may not always find all of the qualities you seek in a single person; you must prioritize what is most important to you and be willing to stick with it.
In my opinion, a lot of these expectation stems from romantic movies, the online world etc. It makes men and women less “invested” in making things work and more concerned with controlling their emotions. You read a post that says something like, “you should never be the first to show how much you love the other person,” and some people absorb these things subconsciously by allowing it to guide the way they love. Like with everything in life, loving is a choice, a risk sometimes, but in love, the first thing to do is to be the best you can be. Fall in love. Trust your instincts. Embrace your fear and take charge. This means that you may be “hurt” as a result of a failed relationship. You may make terrible mistakes along the way, such as trusting the wrong man or woman, but you also have the potential to be successful in a very fulfilling relationship, to fall in love (for real), and to develop deep relationships with people who enrich your life.