So you met this guy you really like. You two have been talking, maybe even went out once or twice. It is almost the love story of ‘boy-meets-girl, girl-kinda-likes-boy’. Only that in this case, girl is left wondering if boy feels the same way because boy isn’t saying nothin.’
I hear it’s 2018, so men don’t ask ladies out anymore. Ladies is that true? Maybe I’m old school, but on behalf of the ladies, I would say it is unhealthy to be caught up in an undefined relationship, what many people refer to as the friend zone. The, “let’s just keep this situationship as it is” with no verbal commitment, does no good to a girl’s fragile rosy heart. Not only is it a confusing state to be in, but it can also be heart-wrenching and can lead to self-destructive behaviours.
How to tell you are in the friend-zone
Knowing that you are in the friend zone can be hard to tell sometimes. And getting mixed signals about a person’s intentions can make it a roller coaster. It’s like having a 3G/4G signal but no site loading.
To be honest, most of the time, the signs are usually there. But because we don’t want to make assumptions, we make excuses instead. We say things like, “she’s just taking things slow, he’s been busy, he’s not stable at the moment” etc.
Having been friend zoned and being the friend zoner a couple of times, I can tell the signs from miles away. Here are some subtle hints you’ve been friend zoned;
- Shows no interest in turning the friendship into a romantic relationship despite the cues.
- Avoids making relationship commitments to you verbally.
- Shows off other romantic interests
- Avoids talking about long-term plans with you.
- Tries or hook you up with his friend.
- Gives more attention to another girl in your presence.
- Frequently cancels appointments or hang out plans with you.
- Does not return your call or texts till days or weeks
- Becomes distant when you bring up intimate conversations.
- Introduces you as ‘a friend.’
Getting out of the friend zone
Now that you know you’ve been friend zoned, let’s plan your escape route. Think Micheal Scofield while you are Lincoln Burrows in Prison Break. You get?
But first, let me make this clear; there is no point trying to navigate your way out of a friend-zone into a relationship-zone with a guy, or girl. You know what you want, so dd they.
In this year 2018 going on 2019, I am still very much of the opinion that if a person wants you, they will come for you. So instead of trying to get into the relationship-zoned with someone who has friend zoned you, what you should be doing is getting out into the self-zone. In 3 simple sentences, here’s what getting out of friend zone into self-zone looks like;
- Getting a grip of your heart and letting go of the feelings.
- Esteem yourself high by refusing to become attention seeking.
- Love your self-enough and stay as friends if there is a chance you can handle it.
Have you ever been love struck and friend zoned? Share your experiences with us.