I had a really tough month in May. Among other personal challenges I had to deal with, my domestic staff left. She planned to attend a cousin’s wedding and return in 2-3 days. On the day she was to return, she didn’t show up, and all efforts to reach her failed.
At first, I worried that something terrible had happened to her. For one, she didn’t seem like the type to just abscond without reason. Secondly, she had packed only a few things, and the rest of her clothes were (are) still in my house. So, I knew she hadn’t run away. What I didn’t know was where she was, or whether she was safe.
She had her many shortcomings, but my family had grown to love her. It was really difficult and heart wrenching wondering if she was dead or alive. For a few weeks, I couldn’t bring myself to even interview someone else for the job. My son was a bit moody, and I could tell that he missed her too. Efforts to reach her family eventually proved fruitful. We found out that she had been married off. But at least it was relief enough to know she was safe.
Moving on
Eventually though, I had to move on. With everything else I was facing, being without a help made things even harder. My whole life including work and health was suffering. So, I found the courage to try again.
Searching for a new domestic staff made me more conscious of what I wanted. And the very first thing I decided on was that I listen to my instinct. The next was that I would refuse to make a decision from a point of desperation, no matter how loudly the voices in my head reminded me that my home was falling down on/around its ears.
This would prove to be a major key to choosing the right domestic staff. I listened long enough to my instincts to ‘hear’ that the next person I chose would be good, but not permanent. So, no matter how good she was, I refused to get attached. True to my gut feeling, the lady I chose had to leave for some prior plan that had finally fallen in place for her. And this was after only five days!
Eureka!
I took a break for another few days before interviewing any other applicant. And in this time, I gave myself permission to deal with my fears about my missing domestic staff, and my fears about, and requirements for, the next one. Then, I tried yet again. And this time, I struck gold!
There were two applicants, and despite the apparent outspokenness of the first one, I had a peace about her that I didn’t have with the other lady who made me feel more than a little uneasy. It has been blissful since then. She’s efficient, neat, and wonderful with my son. And as my now jiggly thighs and middle will confirm, she’s an amazing cook too! She’s settled in so seamlessly, it feels like she’s been here forever.
All this is to say, I know the struggle. If you are trying to find the right domestic staff and you haven’t found what you’re looking for, don’t lose heart. The right one might be just around the corner.