Recently, I read that porn sites offering their premium services for free. Although there’s already a lot of free porn out there, I started wondering about people who were trying to kick some of these negative habits. The truth is, access to something you are trying to avoid can be a trigger. Not to mention when you are suddenly stuck home all day. #Sigh
So maybe you can’t relate to porn. But many of us have habits we have been trying to fight. Think drinking, poor choices or emotional eating. There’s just something about isolation that tempts us to fall back into bad habits or reach for things that make us feel better in the moment but are not good for us in the long run.
So if this is you, here are a few tips that can help.
Remember why you stopped in the first place
I’ve been in relationships that weren’t good for me. I’d summoned the courage to leave and after all the rubbish I went through I would oddly feel like reaching out to the person. Why??? Anyway, thankfully I’d remind myself of the reason why I left in the first place and for the most part, that reason hadn’t changed. Remember the reason and keep it in mind when the impulse to go back returns.
Learn your thought patterns and triggers
It’s important to know what triggers you. Also knowing your thought pattern is important because you may see something that may not be a trigger but might lead to a trigger. So avoid anything that may start the journey, in your mind, of you getting triggered in the first place. It may be shared music with a toxic ex, or proacted periods of stress that lead to binge eating. It may even be conversations with the wrong people that send you on a mental spiral. Watch out for those patterns and guard your heart.
Fill your mind with something else/replace the habit
Having some structure and creating a routine for your day can help with this. It leaves little room for you to be idle and your mind to wander. If you know in the evening/morning or when you feel a certain way e.g. anxious, you start having unhealthy cravings, then find an activity you can do instead that will distract you and also calm you down. E.g. colour in an adult colouring book, instead of reaching for the alcohol.
Get an accountability partner
Have someone that will willingly check in on you every so often. But it’s also important that this person is someone you can truly open up to and be vulnerable with so that before they even check-up, you’re willing to reach out to them to talk about how you’re feeling in the moment.
It may be hard now but if you’re able to build the discipline of not falling back into bad habits now, as time goes on it will be much easier. It’s similar to building a muscle. 🙂
Good luck!