The first time I encountered the bulk of homework my son had to deal with was when he was in primary one. We had an average of four subjects to review on a weekday and about six at the weekend. The homework, of course, cut across a wide range of basic subjects with a few print outs to support.
I often wondered what they taught them at school if the children had to be given all that homework. Every day, after work, my husband or I would sit with our son and help him go through the tasks.
I often wondered what they taught them at school if the children had to be given all that homework. Every day, after work, my husband or I would sit with our son and help him go through the tasks.
This usually moved sleep time to 8.30pm for a five year old. Sleep time for him should have been 8pm in my opinion. That adjustment did not feel right, but then again, times and things had changed, I reasoned. There’s a lot more information and a lot more things to learn in my son’s generation than we had in mine. This was the way I processed it in those early years.
Betty Osunde (one of my pastor’s wife, who I felt had done quite well with her children) reminded me that children could be likened to elastic bands. That is, you could stretch them almost to no end. I kept her comment in my heart and tried to relive my childhood years. I remembered a time we would scurry round my father saying ‘daddy homework.’ But I also recall it was not nearly as much as four subjects a day.
As my son advanced to the next class, the homework increased. Bed time became 9 pm. And his father and I were only able to help him review his homework after we returned from work.
Another Parent Laments
One day, my home printer was malfunctioning, so I grabbed my son at about 7.30pm and went off to a nearby cyber cafe to print out a hard copy of the homework. To my surprise, I met four other mothers with children from ages 6 to perhaps 11. They were helping the children find and print things off the internet.
I found one particular mum interesting. She was sitting next to me and kept mumbling to her computer screen specifically, saying, “I have no idea why they should give an eight-year old such a task! Do they really think he is the one doing the research online? Why do I pay so much and still do all the work?” she asked.
I struck up a conversation with her where she lamented to no end. She spoke about how much work her children were given at school. How she wondered if the school couldn’t gauge when it ‘was enough,’ etc. I asked if she had shared her thoughts with her children’s school, to which she answered in the negative. I encouraged her to at least express herself (as if I had done so).
Learning To Speak Out
Fast-forward one year later and I was still silently grumbling about the quantity of homework my son came home with. As events turned out, I found myself at a PTA meeting one day. During the question and answer time, a parent requested to know if the school didn’t think the amount of homework given to the children during the week was too much. To my surprise, many of the parents there cheered in support of the question. I laughed out loud, wondering what the reaction would have been if the question was not from a stay-at-home mum?
A few years earlier I had taken a major hit on Facebook when I made a similar observation about children’s homework. A male friend had lamented about his children having more homework than he thought necessary, especially as he ended up doing the actual work. I lent my voice analyzing how in advertising we were taught about absorption threshold. I argued that children had their own absorption threshold. Also, I talked about how the extended bed time at their ages must be taking its toll.
Shortly after, a contact on this friend’s page thoroughly tongue lashed us both for being ‘bad parents.’ Telling us we prioritised our office work over our children. She said we were being selfish with our time. I never bothered to respond to her, as she met me in my early mummy phase—the phase where I was racked by a human sized guilt for being away from my children, whether by reason of office work or socials. So, I let this sharp mouthed lady get away with it, too beaten to reply her.
A Necessary Adjustment
The school-head listened to more than five complaints about the amount of homework and said she would review it with her team and report back to us. She of course reminded us that the intention was to get the children to keep practicing what they had been taught during the day as well as the need to engage them fully.
I can’t recall if anyone followed through, but I do know that we got one less homework each weekday. However, we were still being barraged with homework at weekends.
Conclusively, it saddens me that any attempt to correct this results in a tongue lashing or silent rebuke. The belief is that parents who complain about the excessive homework of their kids are being lazy and uninvolved. But that is far from the truth. We, as parents, need to be a bit more realistic with the expectations and burdens placed on our kids. Like everything in excess, too much homework has its down sides, especially as the ‘all work and no play’ idiom still holds true.
*A version of this article first appeared in Business Day and is republished with the permission of the author.