If you’re African, Nigerian to be exact, you’ll understand the pomp and extravagance that comes with weddings. Over here marriage is such a big deal especially for the extended family that it is almost unthinkable to have just one wedding and be done with it.
Okay, maybe I am being somewhat dramatic, but really, what’s up with having a court wedding, a traditional wedding and then, an actual Christian/Islamic wedding? Anyway, not that we are complaining too much, after all those expensive Damask and laces and won’t wear themselves. Lol.
The bigger question comes after all the weddings when it is time to celebrate your wedding anniversary. Do you celebrate all three or the first wedding as your anniversary? Or the most important wedding for you? These things can be confusing.
The Time Factor
I know people who spaced out their various weddings. They did the court wedding first and then the traditional and white wedding a year or so later. Many young couples do this, especially because, since the court marraige is held at some local registry with a few witnesses, we tend to place less emphasis on it.
Naturally, if you’re a Christian and your church is licensed to conduct weddings, you don’t need to do a court wedding. Some have done their traditional weddings first and then done the white wedding many months later. If you conducted all three weddings in the same week or over the course of a few days as some people have done, then I believe you can just do ‘eeny-meeny-miney-moe…?’ (I’m joking). But I believe you can just choose one of the dates. And then, go with that since the dates are so close together.
Which Matters Most?
To me, court marriage is the most important. Because the wedding certificate you’re given after the ceremony is a legally binding document recognised by the State as proof of your marriage. You could decide not to do the white or traditional wedding and legally you’re still married. Although in some families the traditional wedding is considered the most important. You are not considered married to each other in that particular tribe until this is fulfilled. (Wahala, lol!)
If you choose to do this alone though, know that you’re not protected by the laws of your country, only the laws of your tribe, whatever they may offer. Some Christians also do not believe they’re ‘fully’ married until they have done a church wedding.
Popularity Wins The Race
Many couples end up choosing their white wedding( whether Christian or Muslim) as the anniversary. They acknowledge the others but choose to do something special on this particular anniversary, even though to be practical, the court is more important. Maybe its because we think the church wedding carries the final endorsement of God’s blessing. I’m not sure but I’m interested in finding out. So I’ll throw the question to you:
If you did more than one wedding, which one do you choose to celebrate as your real anniversary? And why would do you choose it? If you’re single this question is for you as well. Which wedding anniversary do you intend to celebrate as the real anniversary?