When we ask for relationship advice or any advice for that matter, it’s probably because we feel we are at a dead-end, confused about what to do, and in need of clarity and a fresh perspective. Or maybe we have an idea in mind and just want it validated by a third party. However, as you probably know, not all advice is great, many can even result in disastrous outcomes.
The thing about relationship advice is that they can be good or bad, and they can either be taken or not. But for most people ,deciding when to accept a piece of advice can also be difficult. Regardless of the fact that turning to your friends for relationship advice is the most natural thing to do, almost like a reflex, you also want to ask yourself if it is really smart to let them weigh in.
Here is what you should know before you act on the next relationship advice you are given.
You might not get the objectivity you need
It is common to turn to family and friends for relationship advice, but that in itself could be a problem. When you take relationship advice from someone who is your friend, it is difficult for that person to be as objective as they need to be due to closeness and proximity. They become a little less flexible in situations where you need a firm grasp and some tough love. They might never accept that you are at fault, so their first reaction, their priority is to protect you, maybe validate your bad behavior and exonerate you from blame even at your own expense.
They may not know the full details
Remember that your friend is just an outside observer who is working with a retold story. In reality, you are the one that knows how you feel, with all relevant facts to help you analyze and judge the situation, your friend is simply working with nothing more than a narrative. Have this at the back of your mind before agreeing to take their advice.
Sometimes, advice can come off as a form of projection
You have to admit that people are going through their own issues and problems too, and that may affect their understanding and in turn, the advice they give you. Asking someone who has gone through a bad breakup for relationship advice can result in them projecting some of their issues on you.
Relying on your friends for guidance is not an overall bad idea but it is wise to reevaluate the reasons why you should take them or not. If you are certain that your friends are most likely to tell you the truth no matter how much it hurts and not what you want to hear, then by no means, listen to them.
Also, stay objective and open when asking for their opinion. Try not to turn yourself to an “angel”, but give them the gory details and know for certain their personal issues, personal values and opinions of what they think a relationship should be will not interfere, and then yes, you can take their advice.