I have never understood why a married man would actively desire or pursue an affair outside his marriage with a lady young enough to be his daughter? For the past year, I have experienced such lewd requests, with some men even going to the extent of denying that they are married. I’m not ready to speak in parables so I’ll give you a clear example.
I met a man
So, I met a man one time at one of the banks in my school. He looked like he was in his fifties, was very nice, and one conversation led to the other, and my friends and I became chatty with him. He would call and gist and we’d hang out with him and he was so much fun to be with.
His excuse was that due to the nature of his job, he was very easy to talk to and made friends very easily. Accepted. After a while, he started making advances at me and stuff. Long story cut short, his wife and children were in Germany and he was working in Enugu for the main time so, he wanted to have some “fun” before he went back. That closed the chapter of him and us, especially me.
As if that was not enough, another person I worked for one time in Lagos and only kept in touch with for future work purposes started chatting me up again. I was excited because well, I thought it was work coming. Apparently, he was having issues in his marriage. And he felt the only way to sort out their issues was by having an affair with me. I asked him for a job and he already had a position for me.
I thought about the fact that working with him would expose me to rubbish that I didn’t have strength for so, I told him I couldn’t have an affair with him. He got mad at me, complained about how I was selfish and didn’t care about his emotional needs (like that’s supposed to be my problem) and how I was talking when I didn’t know anything about him(smh). I lost both the job and the internship offer that evening.
Yesterday, I made a WhatsApp post about another man who had come to me without wearing a ring. He urged me constantly to date him because well, he was an accomplished man who had no woman to share in his fulfilment. I even said I was engaged, married, everything just so he’d leave me alone. But he said he’d not mind being my side relationship. It was amazing going on IG to see this supposedly ‘single’ man celebrating his son’s 6th birthday, wearing a ring on his once empty finger and writing an epistle on how his wife has been amazing to him and their son with studio photos of the three of them.
Happens to my friends too
Then, finally, a friend of mine shared her own story. In her words, “just this past semester, my second-year roomie had a pastor in her church asking her out. A middle-aged man with a family. The brazen shamelessness. He knows that she knows he has a family, he didn’t care. One Sunday, he messaged her that he was hard and proceeded to send nudes that had me traumatised till today. Lord have mercy”.
So again, I am wondering…
See, I don’t get it. I don’t. What’s happening to marriages? What is the problem? Is it that these men just jump into marriages for the status sake? What is really happening? I also heard women have started theirs but, as a lady, I don’t get such stupid messages from any lady.
If you are a male reader, you may have a similar experience. That is, from a married woman. Please feel free to share in the comment box.