This is about first dates (mostly). I remember when I just started dating seriously. I was about 18 years old or so. This guy came to my hostel to pick me up for a first date. About half way to our destination, he said something about how I would get back. L-O-L! I changed it for the guy right there, telling him to park so I could get down. Son was confused like, ‘What on earth just happened?! She just went crazy!’ *eye-roll* See me see trouble. I was on my own jeje o, you asked to take me out with no plans to take me back. Let me kuku find my way back from here – it’s shorter and cheaper. Long story short, uncle took me back home after the date.
It took me a few years to reflect on all the things that were wrong with that scenario, including my response. While I think I was right to feel somewhat disrespected/taken for granted by the way he went about it, was I right to expect/take it for granted that he must pick me up and drop me off? I’ll let you be the judge of that. All in all, that was one of many more weird moments on that date. But just imagine how it could have gone if I had no money on me? *shudder* Let’s talk about some weird habits/attitudes some people (yes, some are male and female) display on dates.
Taking no money
Like sis, why?! ‘Vex money’ is a very necessary something na! What if he leaves you there without paying the bill? Your manicure is toast! You go wash plate tire. It’s just safer to have your own money because you never know what might happen, even on a good date, how much more when it’s a bad one.
Whether it’s to your date’s money or body, entitlement is never a good idea. And if it’s first dates, sis, what are you doing? The only thing your date ‘owes’ you is a good time DURING the date. Anything extra should be a pleasant surprise or based on mutual agreement, not the result of pressure or unfair expectations.
If you don’t want to talk, sit it out maybe. Don’t agree to go on a first date (or any date) and then start competing for contemplative Buddhist of the year. Silence is not a virtue here o. If the date is too boring/bad, ending it and leaving for a more fulfilling activity is better.
Ignoring physical boundaries
We know you’re feeling the person (or maybe it’s just you and you’re a natural hugger). But don’t be too touchy-feely, especially on first dates. Don’t do it. It can be creepy if your date is big on physical space. Someone once said a guy she went out with kept touching her hair and rubbing her arm every few minutes *cringe*.
This one is annoying ehn. Let’s get to know each other first, get used to each other’s NAMES, you know, like normal people. Which one is ‘Dear’, ‘Sweetheart’, etc. again? Ahn ahn! We practically just met na! My brothers and sisters, please don’t do it on a first date.
Taking friends along
Ahh, don’t be unfortunate. Let someone know where you’re going, or choose a public date venue, for general security reasons. If you don’t feel safe with your date, DON’T GO O! Obey your gut feeling. But if it’s not for safety reasons, please why are you still pulling that secondary school stunt? Girls’ or boys’ night out and romantic dates don’t overlap in any universe. Don’t do it.
Okay. So, some people go on dates and take pictures of EVERYTHING – Date plus venue, plus meal, plus every single activity sef. And they hashtag and post them all, DURING THE DATE! Why?! Are you a journalist? Try to focus on actually having a good time and getting to know your date. Life’s sweetest moments are best experienced fully present.
If you’re guilty of any of the above, please repent today. Let’s leave stuff like these in 2017. And please share your weird date experiences with us in the comment section. You know we love to hear from you.
If you missed it, read our post on being Single and fighting ‘pair’ pressure.