We all know that one person who can’t seem to keep any secret you share with them. And sometimes, we are that person. We may also know people who give new meaning to the phrase ‘a closed book’. Usually it can be so difficult to read or tell what they are thinking. I’ve been both kinds of persons in my lifetime, but I must admit that there’s a certain freedom that comes with not really having any secrets.
Whether you are naturally quiet or you are the loquacious type, you will need to share details of yourself. Conversation and communication are a part of everyday life. Secondly, healthy relationships are built on a foundation of openness, at least to a certain degree. Without that element of openness, most relationships would die a swift death.
Drawing The Lines
However, being open is not as easy as it sounds. Oversharing can become quite a thing. And deciding what is or is not appropriate to share can be a dilemma, especially when the information volunteered will lead to the pain or anger of your listener. For instance, telling your friend-turned-sister about her cheating partner has to be one of the hardest things to do. I mean, is there even a right way to share such information?
It could also be that the relationship itself poses a barrier to how much you share, ironically. While you and the friend may enjoy a certain level of free communication, you may just instinctively know that your friendship cannot bear the weight of some discussions, at least just yet. And you know in your heart that it doesn’t take away from the genuineness of your friendship. It is just what it is.
In some other cases, the main consideration is the sanctity of a different relationship. It would be unethical to share sensitive information shared in one relationship with a person outside of that relationship. To state it simply, it is called gossip. And it’s never a good way to go as it achieves the exact opposite of your intent. You may think that when you share people’s secrets, you are bonding with your new friends. But what actually happens is that they will likely consider you untrustworthy and keep an emotional distance from you.
Some Things You Should Not Bother To Share
Occasionally, it may be the wrong time or the wrong person. There are times when it’s downright insensitive to share something with someone, especially when it’s a burdensome issue. For instance, a friend who is grieving the loss of a parent, partner, or even a source of livelihood, is the last person you should be talking to at that time about your dark relationship or debt issues.
There are so many other considerations when it comes to information management. Everyone should to know that something as sensitive as client confidentiality is definitely a no-go area. Security information is another, and talking about bodily fluids and functions at the dinner table is just an absolute no-no!
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: Regardless of the closeness you enjoy with a person, it is necessary to check yourself before you share that information. This will not only build trust between you and your friend, it will lead to an all-round healthy relationship.
Don’t forget to drop your comments. I’d love to hear from you.