Like many of you, at the beginning of the year, I wrote down my goals. In fact, I designed a mini-mood board to visualize what I wanted to achieve this year and when I should hit each benchmark. I was looking at the board a few days ago then I realized that the goal I set to achieve at the first quarter of the year, that is in April, I am nowhere near completing it. I haven’t even gone half-way! Almost immediately, I became sad. I started to berate myself for not being smart and focused enough since January.
When I spoke to my mum later, I told her how I was feeling. This is how the conversation went:
Mum: Have you been doing your best for the work?
Me: Yes. I work on it everyday
Mum: So, what more did you think you could have done better?
Me: Spend more time on it
Mum: Why didn’t spend time on it then?
Me: I was busy with my job. I had my classes and other engagements I couldn’t ignore.
At this she said, “Aha! So, you have done your best, why are you beating yourself up?”
I reflected on our conversation afterwards. My mum was right, I have done my best. All through the year, that project has been the center of my life and yet, I was being so unkind to myself. I realized then that the goal I had set for myself was unrealistic, there was no way I could meet the April deadline with my job and other engagements taking my time. Accepting this truth was what helped me to shake off the sadness and continue working.
In about six weeks, it will be end of April. Many people will post on social media about their success and how much they have achieved during the first quarter of the year. If your story is similar, post if you want to and celebrate your achievements. But if you are like me, and the things you want haven’t yet come to fruition don’t beat yourself up. Go back to your drawing board and ask yourself the important questions: Have you been disciplined and focused? Have you been hardworking? Are there unnecessary distractions in your life? Did you set a realistic goal? If you can answer these questions honestly then you’ll find strength and courage to continue chasing your dreams.
Remember that it is only the person that’s alive that can achieve their goals. Please be kind to yourself.