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Home Relationships +

Finding Love and Adapting to Long Distance Relationships

byMaritha Tobechukwu Okeibunor
June 8, 2020
inRelationships +, Romance
Young woman happy in a long distance relationship
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Love conquers all, right? It overcomes time and distance. It can survive anything? Truth is, I’m not always so sure. I’ve seen couples embark on long-distance relationships and though I respected their choice, I didn’t think it was for me.

It looked like too much work, scheduled calls and all that, given the time difference. I liked my space but that felt like too much space. In my mind, it was oil and I was water, I didn’t see a mix happening anytime soon.

As it turns out, the universe was laughing in the corner(In mocking, sarcastic like tones. )When restrictions of movement were made and we had to manage our lives in ways we never thought we would have to face before, I was thrust into a long-distance relationship by default.

That’s was when I understood that it was a different kettle of fish when you are involved in one, especially if you’ve always seen it as hard stuff. This sister was at her wit’s end by week two.

Here are a few things I had to overcome.


Nothing to Talk About

You know when it’s starting to feel like you’ve talked about everything under the sun and now the convo is veering to stale waters with boring talk about the weather. We both took to trading book titles, series and poking fun at the characters afterwards as another resort. It was a stroke of luck as with unending supply of art, we’re yet to run out of things to talk about.


Miscommunication

You said one thing and I heard another; it’s really easy to misread things when you’ve been apart for a while and have started to overthink minor things. Patience, which I didn’t have in abundance was key here. When those misunderstandings happen, it helps to ask for clarity and talk it out.


Feeling Insecure

Having moments of insecurity is normal for everyone. Don’t just let it rile you up when you have nothing to worry about, you’re the only one that validates yourself and that shouldn’t change


No Date Nights

Since physical date nights were out of the picture, we took to having virtual ones. Despite it not being quite like the latter, it still turned out great in the relationship. The newness of the whole thing made it exciting plus fancy dressing up was just an additional perk.


It shouldn’t be too hard to find a way to keep the spark alive and the embers burning if you feel you have something worth fighting for. In the end, though, making things work even in long-distance is based on both partners putting in efforts because really, as to tango, to love it also takes two. 

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As we start this new year, be decisive about the r As we start this new year, be decisive about the relationships you keep. Pick a very sharp pair of scissors and cut off toxic people from your life! Also learn to recognize when you're the toxic one.😏
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#Repost @milly_aku So, sometime in February 2008, #Repost @milly_aku So, sometime in February 2008, Dr. Priye Iyalla-Amadi sought for a replacement of her international passport and was told by the immigration officials in Port Harcourt that she needed a written permission from her husband first.
What this means is that before a Nigerian married woman can be issued her international passport, she needs to get a letter of consent from her husband.
Apparently irked by this administrative policy that tramples on her right, Dr. Priye Iyalla-Amadi headed straight to court and sued the Nigerian Immigration services (NIS).
NIS justified the requirement by arguing that:
"Married women are classified alongside with minors by the government as persons who require consent from the head of the family".
NIS further argued that the requirement for consent of the husband was put in place to "perpetuate the authority of the man over his wife, no matter the status she had attained in the society".
They also stated that the requirement was set to
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Anyway, Justice G.K. Olotu, the presiding judge of the Federal High court gave a judgment that has remained a source of exhilaration to every Nigerian woman.
The court threw out as unconstitutional the entrenched age-old oddity that required married women to obtain their husband's consent before acquiring or renewing their international passports.
In her verdict, Justice G.K. Olotu reportedly said,
“This kind of policy has no place in 21st century Nigeria.”
On June 1st 2009, NIS lost the case made against them by Dr. Priye Iyalla-Amadi, a woman who decided to speak up for herself and other women in Nigeria.
This is a gentle reminder to all girls and women, that we are the most important advocates for ourselves.
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