Love is such a beautiful thing until you experience the scum some men can be. Lool. Okay, no need to generalize but I could not resist. Okay, moving on from the negativity. Love is such a beautiful experience/feeling if you find the right partner. However, this is not to say that I do not believe there is one person for anyone. I think anyone who can speak your love language can be THE ONE.
So, very briefly, in case you are not familiar with the love languages according to Gary Chapman, here are they recapped:
- Physical touch- they call them the “gum bodies” but they are just telling you I love you with every moment they cling onto you.
- Acts of Service- they can do all your chores, run errands for you just never take this for granted.
- Gifts- they can buy you the world. Heck! You could get a gift for waking up
- Words of affirmation- Every word you say affects them some way. The kinder your words the better.
- Quality time- they never want to let go. If you let them, they will be with you through the 24 hours of the day.
Let me quickly give you the gist of how I found out there is no need forcing another language on someone. So, in 2005, I met Tunde, an amazing guy. We completed each other’s sentences, yet we did not seem to speak the same language.
My love languages are acts of service, quality time, gifts, physical touch and words of affirmation in this order. See ehn! This was the same for Tunde. So, we were exactly like 2 peas in a pod. No need to complain about anything. Well, I had no need to complain because the love language he spoke was what I received. However, he was horrible all through the relationship. Yes, this is me accepting I was wrong for him because the love language I gave was not what he received.
After a year of struggling, we had to go through the painful breakup. I wasn’t good for him. It wasn’t him; it was me.
This experience taught me one key thing; people love differently. Because you love physical touch does not mean your partner feels loved when you do it. *mind blown*
The love language I give is not necessarily what I receive. So that dating phase is when to shine your eye for this, so find out what your partner’s love language is. When in doubt, always, always ask. After all, relationships are as much about giving as they are giving. Your relationship will have more meaning when both you and your partner are feeding each other in the ways you both appreciate.
Of course, this is in addition to making sure he doesn’t have a wife, girlfriend, or someone who thinks they are dating in his life.
Have you discovered your own love language? Share them below.