Just let it go. I have said this to myself many times I had issues with people that needed me to confront them. I hate confrontations, especially with my family and close friends. Basically, I am one of those people who would rather walk around the elephant in a room than confront it.
When I have issues with friends or colleagues, I am always the first to apologise, to let go or just ignore it. There are too many occasions where people have done things that required me to go to them and ask why, or how could you do this? but I never did. I am not a timid person but when it comes to my relationship with people, I can barely bring myself to speak up. Most times I think I am overreacting or when it is so glaring that the person did something wrong to me, my excuse becomes I want peace, or I don’t have strength for plenty talk.
The truth is, avoiding confrontations builds resentment against people. Each time I choose to “ignore” what someone has done to me, that offence is stored somewhere in my mind. If the person does it again and again, one day I will cut them off or stop speaking to them and the person wouldn’t even know what they have done wrong.
As I got older though, I realised avoiding confrontations with people creates unhealthy relationships. We are all humans, we make mistakes and unintentionally step on the toes of our friends, family, colleagues etc. When difficult issues are brought up, it gives room for all parties involved to explain themselves, it helps us to understand each other. Even if the other person refuses to admit they are wrong and apologise, it is still better to let them know.
I am not saying you should be a confrontational person and bring up every little slight done against you. There are small issues that should be ignored but when it is something serious or a difficult subject, nothing good has ever come out of sweeping it under the rug. This knowledge hasn’t made confrontations any easier for me. But I have learned to trust my feelings. If I feel hurt by what someone did or said, instead of convincing myself that I am overreacting I go to tell them about it as gently as I can.
I am still learning ways to confront people. How do you guys handle confrontations with your friends?
