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Home Life +

Are You The Type To Avoid Confrontations?

byLizzy Temisan
July 27, 2020
inHome/Family, Life +
Woman avoiding confrontation with her partner
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Just let it go. I have said this to myself many times I had issues with people that needed me to confront them. I hate confrontations, especially with my family and close friends. Basically, I am one of those people who would rather walk around the elephant in a room than confront it.

When I have issues with friends or colleagues, I am always the first to apologise, to let go or just ignore it. There are too many occasions where people have done things that required me to go to them and ask why, or how could you do this? but I never did. I am not a timid person but when it comes to my relationship with people, I can barely bring myself to speak up. Most times I think I am overreacting or when it is so glaring that the person did something wrong to me, my excuse becomes I want peace, or I don’t have strength for plenty talk.

The truth is, avoiding confrontations builds resentment against people. Each time I choose to “ignore” what someone has done to me, that offence is stored somewhere in my mind. If the person does it again and again, one day I will cut them off or stop speaking to them and the person wouldn’t even know what they have done wrong.

As I got older though, I realised avoiding confrontations with people creates unhealthy relationships. We are all humans, we make mistakes and unintentionally step on the toes of our friends, family, colleagues etc. When difficult issues are brought up, it gives room for all parties involved to explain themselves, it helps us to understand each other. Even if the other person refuses to admit they are wrong and apologise, it is still better to let them know.

I am not saying you should be a confrontational person and bring up every little slight done against you. There are small issues that should be ignored but when it is something serious or a difficult subject, nothing good has ever come out of sweeping it under the rug. This knowledge hasn’t made confrontations any easier for me. But I have learned to trust my feelings. If I feel hurt by what someone did or said, instead of convincing myself that I am overreacting I go to tell them about it as gently as I can.

I am still learning ways to confront people. How do you guys handle confrontations with your friends?

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Here's to the year we all work on all our relation Here's to the year we all work on all our relationships with people, because if 2020 taught us anything, it’s that family, friendships and genuine relationships are what matters.🥂
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"My 10-year-old self always imagined friendships i "My 10-year-old self always imagined friendships in my 20s being this never-ending sleep over and back-to-back vacations with my uber cool friends. Help me laugh. Well, turns out making or keeping friends isn’t always that easy. I am gradually more aware that to keep a friend, you have to try to be there. I am 100% guilty of not being the best friend sometimes and I am always trying to work on it. I shared a few pointers on how to achieve this." @ellapinkette Link in bio
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As we start this new year, be decisive about the r As we start this new year, be decisive about the relationships you keep. Pick a very sharp pair of scissors and cut off toxic people from your life! Also learn to recognize when you're the toxic one.😏
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#Repost @milly_aku So, sometime in February 2008, #Repost @milly_aku So, sometime in February 2008, Dr. Priye Iyalla-Amadi sought for a replacement of her international passport and was told by the immigration officials in Port Harcourt that she needed a written permission from her husband first.
What this means is that before a Nigerian married woman can be issued her international passport, she needs to get a letter of consent from her husband.
Apparently irked by this administrative policy that tramples on her right, Dr. Priye Iyalla-Amadi headed straight to court and sued the Nigerian Immigration services (NIS).
NIS justified the requirement by arguing that:
"Married women are classified alongside with minors by the government as persons who require consent from the head of the family".
NIS further argued that the requirement for consent of the husband was put in place to "perpetuate the authority of the man over his wife, no matter the status she had attained in the society".
They also stated that the requirement was set to
"avoid unnecessary breakdown of the marriage institution in the country."
SMH
Anyway, Justice G.K. Olotu, the presiding judge of the Federal High court gave a judgment that has remained a source of exhilaration to every Nigerian woman.
The court threw out as unconstitutional the entrenched age-old oddity that required married women to obtain their husband's consent before acquiring or renewing their international passports.
In her verdict, Justice G.K. Olotu reportedly said,
“This kind of policy has no place in 21st century Nigeria.”
On June 1st 2009, NIS lost the case made against them by Dr. Priye Iyalla-Amadi, a woman who decided to speak up for herself and other women in Nigeria.
This is a gentle reminder to all girls and women, that we are the most important advocates for ourselves.
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